Dear ladies, lets be clear about this please

Date:

A damsel who responds “mzuri” (or is it nzuri) is being hostile and must be left alone, because chances of her offering anything beyond greetings, are very slim, very very slim
Don’t waste your time

She who responds “poa” is willing and must be chased because it wont be long before the mortise will be suffocating inside the tenon
It is natural that the man does the hunting and so it is the man to begin by saluting the lady and not vice versa
If the lady puts the cart before the horse and salutes you “mambo?”, that’s a Koinange veteran, toka teke!

To the ladies, the man greeting you “habari” is a good man and his are just salutations
He who tells you “hujambo” or “jambo” is actually trying to gauge the depth of the water, enable him decide if he can wade in or not
He who says “sasa?” is a hungry tiger, run away as fast as you can

He who says “hello” is a good man, but given opportunity, he can put his goodness aside and deal with the situation
“Niaje” is an introductory line of a juvenile delinquent. Advise the goon to look for his fellow urchins, to engage
Men to men: When you hear someone call you “kiongozi” run for dear life because he is about to extort money from you
If you hear another one say “bwana asifiwe” or gives his name and adds “nimeokoka napenda yesu” that’s the most scandalous character you’ll ever encounter in your life

Ladies to ladies why do you cal each other, dear, or darling or sweetie, bae,?
Your sweetheart must be a man, with a tail in front and not any other creature, with a thatched ATM
Great evening my fellow Southerners!!

By Jerome Ogola via Facebook

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