Dear ladies in long,black or brown coloured and curly weaves,

By Agnes Sikuku

Dear ladies in long,black or brown coloured and curly weaves,

Receive greetings from ladies in braids,dreadlocks,short hair and our brother-sisters who are clean shaven.

The reason for Writing you this letter is to ask about one or two things.

First and foremost,how do you manage to have your weaves looking new, well oiled and not one strand out of place? Do you live in the saloon? We have even visited the witch-doctor to help us care for weaves but all has been in vain.

We tried “kichana ya meno kubwa” to comb the weave only to be told we have not passed a comb in our God-forsaken weaves.

We tried living by the mirror for 30minutes(which is a miracle)but still our weave didn’t turn out as cute as yours.

Let me not talk about sprays.Our ancestors know that we have litres of sprays in the house.And they also know that even though we forget to spray,there’s no big difference when we eventually remember.

One week of trying to be a lady in a weave is torture. We walked with mirrors and combs in our bag. We got tired of looking at ourselves in the mirror. We got tired of the strands of weaves that fall off when we are combing and when we are not even combing.

We got tired of not itching our scalp because the damn weave will be messy.We got tired of keeping a straight face yet we are suffocating from heat courtesy of our weave,whose name we can’t recall.

Ladies in weaves who look like Betty kyalo and cover girls of fashion magazines came to our rescue.We think this is the reason why we have not been invited to be bestmaids in weddings.Who knows? maybe it’s also the reason why our crush swear by the gods that they don’t have a crush on us.

Yours truly,
Distressed sister in a weave(whose name has been forgotten)