Dear Arap Kenyatta
I hope this open letter finds you robust in good health
I write you in my capacity as citizen number 2xx4845x, requesting you to heed the CJ advice and dissolve parliament
We as hoof eaters aren’t privy to the nitty gritty of the gender rule, because even of the law makes it obligatory that each constituency elects/nominate a woman to the National Assembly, it is the rich man’s wife/mistresses who will benefit and not our women
But we’d really wish for an election, but for different reasons
We need it because that’s the only way we can recover any fraction of what’s been stolen from our taxes is through handouts and that only comes during elections
Give us a present of an elections by sending these guys home so that they can hit the villages and walk door to door, distributing stolen money
They will also be walking around sniffing for any children who cannot afford school fees, so that they can pay and pose for a photo to be posted in social media and at the end of it all a child of a poor man will be the beneficiary
We are are hungry and this can be a relief. An election will be a handsome stimulus package out of these corona difficulties
Away from Kenyatta’s letter, so today a face underwear, also called a barakoa is retailing at a paltry 50 bob for three. Not long ago, they were so precious that police even killed a few Kenyans who couldn’t afford them
Soon they will be distributed for free like Jehovah Witness booklets or Telkom lines
I have uncountable Telkom lines because each time the distributors come, I have to take one, so that he leaves, because they always look tired and hungry and that’s the only way of saving them from collapsing on my doorstep
A hungry man is also known to be very angry and can be very dangerous. So when a red eyed man knocks your door and asks you if you need a line, you just have to accept for fear unspecified consequences if you may decline
Great morning my fellow hoof eaters!!
