THINK Before you re-elect Uhuru Kenyatta,……
By The Banana Peddler
By any stretch of any imagination, President Kenyatta has done nothing to warrant his re-election. Fellow Kenyans, kindly help me assess the ICC suspects in the last four years and score them fittingly with your votes. Vote for them if you have electricity at your homes. Vote for the two gentlemen if our shilling is still valuable at Ksh100-plus, to a US Dollar. Vote for Uhuru if he has prosecuted and successfully jailed any big thief.
Vote for Uhuru and Ruto if they have successfully delivered free laptops to primary school kids. Vote for them if they have given your kids free milk. Vote the two crackpots if you are certain they have implemented the free secondary education they promised. Vote for the two comrades if you are convinced they have created 1million jobs as promised.
Vote for the two friends if you can convince your grandmother – with unassailable evidence of course, – that they have curbed insecurity in our nation since they took over. Vote for the two masquerades if our graduates have jobs. Vote for the two former radical enemies if our women can sincerely access maternal healthcare free of charge.
Vote for the two crybabies if any of your relatives has never been a victim of road traps on our pathetic roads. Vote back Uhuru and Ruto if you are certain any member of your community has not been kidnapped for ransom in the last four years he has been in power. If there is plenty of pipe-borne water running in your town or village, please vote for the two white-shirted with red ties gentlemen.
If you are a civil servant and your salary has never delayed, kindly wake up and be the first one to vote back your ‘industrious’ President and his ‘honest’ deputy. If you are certain President Kenyatta and his deputy have not wantonly depleted your foreign reserve, cast a ballot for them. Vote for ‘Bishop’ Uhuru Kenyatta and his deputy ‘Pastor’ William Samoei Kipchirchir Arap Ruto if they have not grabbed any public land for themselves and shared the rest among their cronies.
If you are an entrepreneur and you feel your business is thriving, vote for them. Vote for President Uhuru Kenyatta and his Deputy William Ruto if you feel they do perfect ethnic balancing when giving out government jobs among Kenyans. Add many more….
