Why I will not comment on USA presidential elections

By Jerome Ogola via Facebook

I’ve so much restrained myself and abstained from commenting on the US elections, because being a slow learner, I hardly comprehend how electoral college system works

The only election I have the expertise to analyse, with precision of a surgeon, is the Kenyan mlolongo system of 1988, where voters queued behind portraits of their favourite candidates and a quick census done, to establish whose was longer
I also find it difficult to know who between the two candidates is the most suitable for the US, because it is the responsibility of Americans to know what they want and what they don’t

I am shocked that Kenyans know what’s good for the US, but when given an opportunity to choose whose is good for them, in an election back home, they leave their brains at home, carry their stomachs t the ballot, to settle on the most ghostly of the harlequins, one who isn’t qualified to be anything

Although some Americans know Kenya well enough, if you randomly ask pedestrians in the streets of New York, how well they know Kenya, you will be shocked to hear most think Kenya is a town in South Africa etc

Kenyans on the other hand are thoroughly knowledgeable on matters the US geopolitics, because the law says that the hoof eaters have the responsibility of knowing the rich man of the village and every detail about his life, children, cars etc, but this particular beef eater must not know these acrobats whose children’s feet are warped, like those of Wodu Wakiri, the village wag in Elechi Amadi’s literary piece (concubine?), in response to excessive weight of the stomach, after feeding exclusively on cassava and other such starch, without any other nutrient

Otherwise it is morning. Let’s meet at the abattoir early enough