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Panic: Government to release thousands from prisons, mainly petty offenders

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The government is set to release thousands of prisoners, mostly “petty offenders”
One may get worried that this act will increase the number of criminals in circulations during the curfew and lockdown (if it comes) but that’s not the case

In reality, the so called “pretty offenders” in their thousands are innocent countrymen who couldn’t afford bribe to free themselves from police and when presented to the magistrate, they couldn’t afford the fines/bribes to buy freedom
The government’s explanation for the move is to decongest prison and aid social distancing in this COVID-19 era

It takes coronavirus for a poor man to get freedom
In solidarity with the government move, I am also moving into my prison, here at Mukuru Kwa Zuckerberg. I am visiting my blocked list, to exercise the power of mercy conferred to my by Zuckerberg himself, the nyumba kumi of this slum

I will forgive a few who I feel are reformed, while the hardcore ones will continue eating the cold
Great morning my fellow Southerners!!

Meanwhile Ekakoro Emorut says:

Every time I read a headline suggestive of panic I feel like simultaneously laughing out loud and slapping someone. See, before coronavirus crossed these sides we said these things, that we had no capacity to handle this thing and so the best way to keep it at bay was to keep it away. I’m personally very risk-averse and will try to make the situation failsafe before I throw myself into it fully. Weuwe, the insults we got! We were reminded everything we were not: medics, virologists, public health experts, epidemiologists, security experts, and etc. – instead of what we really were: Kenyans with brains that are at least above average most of the time and who care.

Now we’re just at 110 and we’re panicking. 110 out of 50 million is negligible I say. Accidents claim 50 times that and I’ve never seen this sort of panic about them except at Christmas. Good thing there’s no Easter this year.

By the way, ain’t it a nice thing that this year our timelines won’t be flooded with pictures of Nairobians flocking Mombasa public beaches to drink beer and discover that pilau is rice! Now in our panic we’re calling out to politicians to give us a solution. A politician who most of the time cannot figure out whether his head is going in or coming out of his asshole, so engrossed is he with his own self.

A politician whose most defining characteristic is his inability to make use of the remaining portion of his brain. Let us keep hoping…

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