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All You need to know about The WARPED UP Priorities of A Few Luo Men

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By D S

I want to unleash barbs against my brothers from Nyanza because of their way of life. I do not know whether it is wired in them to behave the way they do but there are some characteristics that are distinctly ‘Luo’ in form and substance. To give them some credit, there are a few positive attributes worth emulating by our brothers from the mountain who think everything begins and ends with ‘mugunda’!

In matters romance, class and sophistication, we know that nobody can beat them. They are heads and shoulders above the rest. Luo men know how to treat their women. They are not stingy and will splash money to make their objects of love, (or lust) feel special, even if just for a fleeting moment. They have class, they are suave and dapper in their dressing, emulating their Congolese counterparts. They invest in the latest and most expensive electronic gadgets and cruise around in German cars, never mind that they could be knee deep in debt. And herein lies their undoing. To sustain their lavish lifestyles they go for loans: emergency, normal, salary advances. Luo men will use loans to buy expensive furniture and treat their women in five star hotels including flying them to exotic holiday resorts. No wonder they feature prominently in the Credit Reference Bureau list of shame.

Luo men live way beyond their means. They rent houses in leafy suburbs, spending three quarters of their salary on rent! They live by the mantra, ‘fake it until you make it’, only that most of them never make it, living a lie all their lives!

My brothers from the Lake have warped up priorities. They live in rented bungalows in the city yet have no houses at home. Whenever they visit their miserable parents upcountry, they park their sleek ‘beasts’ outside leaking grass thatched, mud walled huts. Watchmen in big towns hire Mercedes Benz cars and drive to their upcountry homes leaving relatives and neighbours green with envy! If only they knew what they do for a living in the cities!

They love light skinned women. Luo men will salivate and date brown women until they meet the next lighter ones and then abandon the former for the latter. They are the most unfaithful lot with several side dishes! The beaches of Lake Victoria are a sorry state of sexual immorality. Fish for sex is an apt description of the filth and perversion that are so common among the fishermen on the shores and Islands of the fresh water Lake.

They are boisterous and loud with an air of self importance and entitlement. The popular phrase, ‘ujaluo itakuuwa’ best describes them. Other high sounding self exalting statements include, Luoism is a responsibility, a calling.

On the positive side, Luo men are passionate and perfectionists in what they do. The best tailors, cobblers, mechanics, electricians, plumbers, Lawyers, Professors are, no doubt Luos. The Kenya 7s and 15s are made up of mostly Luos. K’Ogalo are the defending champions, having won the Premier League for a record three times in a row and currently sitting pretty at the top of the log. If only they could channel this energy, passion and zeal to entrepreneurship and investment!
Wajaluo walete feelings sasa. Pasta Mūthee Kanjora niletee helmet na mboshori

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