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The Beauty Of Growing Up In The Village, Ushago Damsels Are The Best But Wait They Hit The City Running, Utajua Hujui !

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By Scophine Otieno

This Madaraka , I want to shout out the village damsels.

There’s something demure and real about the almost juvenile and carefree way they go about their lives.

They’ll wake up with saliva doodling the map of Madagascar on their cheeks and still go about their chores and business.

Forget these City lasses suffering from Identity crises with enhanced hips, enlarged bums, breasts firmed using creams, acrylic nails, wannabe American accents, fake lashes, pseudo names (Her ID reads Petronilla Nyambura but her profile reads Demetria Nyambs), the village Totos are the real deal.

With short hair, matuta or mlazo, her skin glitters not under a ritualistic beauty regime with imported creams but Vaseline or Arimis.

They are cutlery queens who spend time learning and perfecting the kitchen art. They will not serve you skuma stew or a meal that has so much spice that would make an Indian chef quiver in awe. City girls on the other hand are too busy taking selfies, scavenging for gossip on chit chat, clubbing and shopping to have the time to actually learn how to cook. You are lucky if you find one who can boil water without checking instructions on YouTube.

Even if a village girl wanted to be a social media freak like her city counterparts, the epileptic power and poor network in the village won’t let her.

They don’t issue preposterous demands before they yield in, they know their walls are not Diamond crusted and that’s why most if not all of them settle while we be here twisting our bums looking for established men who can cook, have beards, speak French and drive Porsche only to end up as Spinsters turned feminists.

These lasses are brought up to know how to manage little resources to get optimum result; give a City girl 40k and her next stop will be Peruvian hair weave shop followed by a visit to the boutique. Give a village babe that money and I swear that is all the capital she needs for a business.

A girl in the heart of Kanyamkago is more likely to maintain a higher level of decency than a city girl. It is very unlikely that she will gobble senile dicks in town just to buy iPhone X and keep up with fashion trends.

They are the breeds who still believe in submission. City girls are bombarded by Activism everyday turning them into ‘adak makata ionge gang’ (get a Luo dictionary). Just tune in to classic one morning and know the level of Testosterone in city women.

Shags babes are capable of striking a balance between running the home and a job or business. Most City girls cannot clean their own pants and rely on Miss Mboches and Mama Nguo for the same. Sasa find that she has a Masers and can spit grammar then expect her to serve your meal,ha! As who? Uko na nini hana?

Plus they are very fertile; their wombs are not weakened by popping Postinor ever weekend and most importantly, these mamacitas do not give up on their guys easily, they do not resolve conflicts by bitching with fellow average bimbos on WhatsApp or airing dirty linens on social media pages, will not leave because you came home late and drunk or because you are broke.

Ubaya ni umlete Nairobi aone stima two months, aonje pizza na aanze kuona Alejandro… Ndio utajua utamu wa njugu ni kurusha moja moja

Big up Ushago darlings. We ain’t better than you, it is the environment that sets us apart, you can still soar from your end.

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