Basic needs of a parliamentary aspirant in Kenya ahead of 2022 election

Date:

By Onyango ochieng jnr via FB

To my friends joining elective politics in 2022, particularly the MP race. Kindly, ensure you have the following at the earliest, as in, even today:

√A robust social media team of utmost 3 people (Including graphic designer, text editor: can be outsourced)

√A very good camera/smartphone(s).

√A media liaison officer to network you with local radios at the shortest notice & push your views in every news item especially at night and early morning (6am-8.00am)

√ An honest think tank, to direct your points and dovetail them to local issues/ challenges.

√Opinion shapers/Influencers in almost every village. Include male elders past 60 years.

√Chief MOBILIZER(Gets the crowds/gauges the public mood before visit)

√RESOURCE mobilizer

√A local research assistant( to keep you thoroughly informed on the current affairs).

√A personal assistant with razor-sharp interpersonal relation skills.

√An office/nerve centre.

√A women wing/caucus in your secretariat. Women are very HONEST, DETERMINED, COMMITTED and they always GIVE what they PROMISE. They are good at keeping promises, including when they promise to give you…

√ At least a car OR 3 motorbikes on standby OR both.

NB:

√ Social media doesn’t have to be a propaganda mill or a vituperative factory ran by militia or mud-slingers. Nope. Updating people on your programs and missions is enough. Proliferation of smartphones nearly in every home, has changed news access, making every information available in real-time.

√ Focus on the small churches, where if you give Sadaka of Ksh 500/1000, it makes a difference. Unlike the big ones.

√. Stay away from sleeping around with people’s wives. It’s cobra-effect is unmitigatable especially in the village.

√ Carry at least 10K, in 50 shilling notes every time you are around the villages. Because problems there are small, yet very critical. They must be solved at random. Like mafuta, sugar, matchbox, Panadol, a book etc. That 100 maybe your phone credit, but to ruralitarians, it means a lot.

√Be active in funerals (makes you a friend in need).

√Be active in community projects, at least the ID project is easy/cheap.

This thing is not cheap. You MUST be fully PREPARED.

Thank me later!

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